Tuesday, November 15, 2016

11/15/11

Back from the dead, eh? I don't know, I'm just writing something. It's been over 5 years since I last made a post here, and much of my outlook on life is still the same, but much more developed. Though I must say, I was very insightful for a teenager, but some of the things that I'd said made little to no sense or were worded terribly.

Five years later, I'm hardly much better in terms of my mental state. I talked about a "mistake" that I'd made that caused things in my life to change. This mistake was drug use and it's immediate toll on my mind. I went insane almost instantly after beginning to smoke pot, and then I ended up trying mushrooms that same summer. It was a hell of a daze, that's for sure. I was completely reborn that summer and I have never been quite the same as I was before. The fact that just weed alone caused drug induced psychosis at first just goes to show that I had some issues present already, and it was brought out by this. However after those few months that I'd even continued smoking pot, it got better even after I'd continued using it (and I still do from time to time - still fine). I'd even say in the long run this was a good thing, but I digress.

I'll be 23 next month, and I was 17 writing those blogs. Time went by really fast, and a lot of the things I had discussed are coming true. I still do have unimaginable talent and can change the world, and in my now adult life, I search for love to compensate for the joy of childhood that has been lost. But music is a great source of that joy. I'm about to enter my senior year in college, having just signed up for my classes today. I really don't know what my future holds, but I know one thing: I will look back at this particular blog post some years from now and remember it the way I remembered those from 2011. I don't know if I'm going to make any more from here, but just this one will be nice to look back on. Today was a profound day for me, and it's led me to decide to make decisions coming up that will have an even more profound effect on me. There is something new I can hide in out there, and I'm going to find it.